真的搬家了?!

說著說著, 一個下午我便由天空部落搬過來了

今天之前所記載的原來都是在這裡

http://blog.yam.com/bananamango

原來搬部落格也有學問, 我今天又學多了

因為blogger匯入的話需要xml格式

在yam匯出的格式並沒有這個選項

所以要做多一點點才可搬過來

十(一)周年

由2004年開始, 原來這個部落格已經有10年了!!

雖然我沒有很努力去發文

不過斷斷續續的寫東寫西

這個地方是我其中一個發洩的出口

所以很感激它呢



久不久會有搬家的念頭

自從被公司block了更加強了這個想法

我很多東西都在google的account整合了

要不要連部落格也轉做google的blogger呢

再想想看
 

回來了

今天早上因為不在位做野, 所以帶了notebook去另一處

以wifi上網做


亦因為這樣, 我終於發現一直上入不到這個網誌的原因了!!

就是因為公司network!!

剛剛回到位置, 連上公司network之後又去不到網誌了!

欣怡

欣怡是我在台灣最好的朋友。認識於2006年, 因為大家都喜歡金楨勳, 後來越來越投契, 成了好朋友。讓我深深感受到追星最大的得益不是星, 而是美好的友誼。每次去台灣都受妳照顧, 帶我去看小豬, 小美, 還有林志穎! 請假陪我去玩, 跟我說說心事, 吃好吃的東西, 還帶奶奶的青草茶給我喝...想起以往的種種真的很心痛。

我有太多的問題想問....為什麼你這樣的年輕便要走呢, 為什麼都不告訴我你生病了呢....為什麼這麼突然呢...一直想起我們一起的情境, 你可愛的笑容, 說話的聲音, 突然對我說台語的時候.....你牙套才戴完多久, 你漂亮的牙齒也未漂亮夠呢!!

欣怡, 願你在那邊也過得好好的, 妳會永遠在我心中。我很想念妳。

意志力是什麼?

 剛在泛科學看到一篇關於意志力的文章。我一直都欠缺意志力, 也許就是恆心, 所以很多事開了個頭就半途而廢。減肥是, 念書是, 學習也是。那....意志力到底是什麼呢? 什麼令一個人的意志力有所高低呢?

我想知道答案, 不過看了這篇, 其實它是說了原來有方法去測量一個人的意志力, 可是, 意志力由那裡來呢, 什麼時候會走呢....卻沒有討論。

因為工作關係認識了personality dimensions。這是以四種顏色來分類各人的性格, 每一個人都會有幾種顏色不過通常會有一種特別突出。四種顏色包括藍色真我型；金色組織型；綠色探究型；和橙色多謀型。

為什麼我會提起這個呢, 因為我記得老師說過, 每個顏色的人都有各自的motivation點, 好像我是橙色的, 就會要一些引起我興趣的東西才能keep住做一件事, 否則我的持久力往往很快消失, 我想這就是我沒有意志力的其中一個原因吧!

這個性格分析真的很好用, 在工作上我們也常常會跟同事說, 呀, 你真的很金呀! 金就是很有組織力也就是很有條理的。當然每個性格也有其弱點, 好像綠色的人思考探究宏觀很好, 可是要實際行動卻往往得個講字。這時候橙色的行動力就能幫上忙。了解各人的性格也真的令我們同事之間互相補助的默契成長了。

第二人生

其實想回歸寫部落格很久了

為了小小的理由我開了另外兩個可以在手機更新的部落格

後來發現其實我能夠寫網誌的時間多數還是在電腦面前的

所以 還是回來了



一天一口氣po了幾次真的很久沒試過了!!
每一次都是短短的, 我看其他人一寫就一大段真的好厲害喔

也是不因為習慣了facebook更新status所以變短而是本來我就沒能力寫很多啦



想起來, 這題目是第二人生為什麼呢

是我決定 (對, 又決定, 我是常常決定常常放棄的朋友) 好好對待自己的身體

要健健康康地老去

所以希望 (現在的想法是)在這裡記錄下來

我打算做的是

Michael Mosley 的 5:2 diet



加油啦!!!!!!!!!!!!

老油條是怎樣錬成的

我知道社會變了 人變了 怪獸家長港孩滿街都是

想不到專上教育也是如此

咧...我還在這嗎?

用了facebook之後跟本完全沒心寫blog

換了這忙碌的工作更加沒時間做喜歡的事



因工作關係要寫點東西

真的書到用時方恨少

簡直覺得自己是文盲

所以想起



不如重新在這裡寫點什麼的

當做練習也好



就這樣


 至於



為什麼還回來這裡呢

為什麼不用大家都喜歡的blogspot, blogger...etc?

因為有始有終嘛



就這樣

虹膜炎又來了

今次復發已經是第四次了, 第一次在2003年, 之後2007年, 然後2009年, 再來2010年, 復發的次數好多變頻密了 唉 先是4年, 再是2年, 然後1年...之後會不會變密了呢? 很擔心喔!! 以後還是乖乖的早早睡好了 ==
 
這幾個月一直有看中醫調理身體, 昨天看完眼醫後原來朋友也在看那位中醫, 便上去打個招呼。醫師看到我說, 我之前不是跟你說了你,虹膜炎不要晚睡嗎? 一定要11時去睡覺! 我記憶中他好像沒有跟我說過他看得出我有虹膜炎呢...anyway, 他又說, 一定要早睡而且不要曬太陽! 我和朋友說, "可是我們book了去陽光海灘旅行啊!" 醫師突然很認真的說 "我講真的, 你一定不可以曬太陽, 因為太陽會令你免疫系統產生變化!" (虹膜炎就是免疫系統失調所生的問題) 哇, 這還真的是我第一次聽到的理論! 因為西醫一直都強調陽光對人體的好處嘛! 天呀!! 可是我相信他, 因為他是很有名的醫師 ==  雖然我沒有很喜歡曬太陽, 可是一想到以後都不可以去暴曬, 總覺得很可惜 :(

...

其實
不要再問我了
好嗎???
我也不知道答案
我也想知道答案
你越問就越令我想起那可惡嘔心的事
雖然你不知道那件事
 
可是我也不能告訴你呀
 
你心急嗎?
其實我更心急
 
所以
不要再問我了
好嗎?!!!!

半天假

今年的颱風總是週末才出現，都沒機會享受颱風假期...
昨晚風吹得特別兇, 今天早上起來發現原來還是八號球!
雖然一早說了十時左右會轉為三號, 有半天假已經很滿足了!

賴床到9時多, 爬起來洗個熱水浴
烤兩片吐司, 一片塗上由德國帶來的肝醬, 另一片塗上無花果醬
跟平時趕時間不一樣, 不用即沖即喝的飲料, 用小鍋子煮起紅茶來喝
坐在沙發上悠閒的的喝著, 看看書看看電視
慢慢的換衣服出門, 雖然還是要上班, 比起平時的忙碌滾著出門, 今天整個很舒服呢~

突如其來的半天假, 來多幾次便好了 哈哈~

放過劉德華

放過劉德華吧 好不好??!!
 
劉德華的私事 關你們什麼事呢
為什麼要向你們交代呢???
他說不說出來 他要交代的 應該是他的家人吧?!!
關你什麼事呢
不要再煩下去好不好??
 
一下子將劉德華一直以來的努力抹煞
會不會太不講道理呀???
每一天有天災人禍的時 他都出心出力的去幫忙
工作上不懈的努力 大家都是知道的吧
藝人是他的工作 他不是已經將工作做得很好了嗎?
 
你管他的私事幹嗎????
對你有什麼影響呢????
 
放過劉德華吧 好不好?
 
還有那個俞可欣那兩母女 收聲啦!!!!!!!!! 沒人對你有興趣呀!

Soulmate?

朋友的老公有第三者，他說他找到他的soulmate了。 那個第三者也感性的說別人的老公是他的soulmate．．．現在究竟是什麼世界了？ 我真的很puzzle!！
　
找了很多資料，看了很多個案，很多有第三者的case都是說自己找到soulmate。我真的很想問，現在你熱烈的感覺不就正如當初你愛你的老婆一樣嗎？！ 那不是現在才找到你的soulmate，而是你去決定那個是你的soulmate。什麼什麼根本都是華麗的藉口。 只是為自己放縱的行為的掩飾。
　
雖然我不應該去批判別人，可是，明明是錯了還口口聲聲說這是自然發生的事，對不起老婆也是無可奈何．．．吓？！這樣的人我真的希望他跟他的"soulmate"一起吧，然後過幾年後又再找到他的soulmate吧！！好過現在你把他留住，他就永遠覺得得不到的那個就是最美好的。就讓他得到吧！然後讓他自己發現現實的殘酷吧！
 
美國South Carolina的 Governor也發生了同樣的事，讓支持他的市民、 家人、子女都很心痛。 雖然他說他想要和妻子重修舊好，但他的話卻令人明白他根本不是這樣想。他說："This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," he said. He added: "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."  "knowing that I had met my soul mate."  okay．．你沒想到你的妻子有多無辜 ,有多傷心。如果那個真的是你的soulmate，你抓住不要放好了，不要到你百年歸老才來說，當年我遇到那個女人有多好．．．到你老的時候還要去傷透你妻子的心，倒不如現在去傷吧！就去看看你的soulmate能soul你多久吧！
　  
真係soul你老mate

okay，我是比較激動，就看看rational的professional怎麼分析吧 >>

---

Governors, Quarterbacks, and Soul Mates
Joe Beam
President, LovePath International

The news that South Carolina governor Mark Sanford described his mistress Maria Belen Chapur as his soul mate had not yet grown cold when another “married man in the wrong situation” story hit the airwaves. Former Tennessee Titan’s quarterback Steve McNair was murdered and his body found alongside that of the woman who expected him to divorce his wife and marry her, Sahel Kazemi.

No, this isn’t an attack on either of those men or their recent tragedies. My heart breaks for their families, particularly their children, as well as for their wives and the men themselves. Instead, if you will think with me for a few moments, perhaps we can get a clearer picture as to why good people – both Sanford and McNair claim Christianity – make very destructive decisions. Also, maybe we can put to rest the tired clichés surrounding the concept of finding a soul mate.

Every month I spend three intense days with a new group of married couples in crisis. Though certainly not true of all that attend, many come to my workshop with stories that parallel those of Sanford and McNair except theirs hasn’t been broadcast on national television. (Well, actually, some have.) Not just men, mind you, but women as well who have violated their marriage vows through strong emotional (and usually sexual) connection with another.

For more than twenty years I’ve listened to their stories, hundreds upon hundreds, and learned the commonality that runs through them. Yes, there are always “unique” circumstances. And, yes, those in these situations believe that no one else has experienced what they are experiencing nor understands what they are feeling. However, the foundations are so similar and the path so worn that to their astonishment I accurately and vividly describe for them their experience, emotions, and expectations of what comes next. The typical stunned response is something like, “You just spoke my heart!” or “You told my story!” or “How did you know?”

Nope, I’m not a magician. (I believe in miracles rather than magic.)

Uh-uh, it’s not a word of knowledge or divine revelation, though if God decided to do that with every couple I met it would certainly make my work easier.

It's Limerence.

Limerence was coined by Dorothy Tennov, PhD, in 1977. A great deal of research into it has been done by Helen Fisher, PhD, and her colleagues. I’ve witnessed it up close and personal through years of work with thousands of couples. As I describe it, you will realize that you’ve seen it too – maybe even experienced it. (Don’t worry if you never have; not everyone does.)

Limerence is being madly and overwhelmingly in love to the point of obsession. While it incorporates some dimensions of the agape (Ephesians 5:28) and phileo (Titus 2:4) forms of love that Christians are familiar with from Scripture, it also has several shovelfuls of eros mixed in. One in the throes of limerence thinks constantly about the limerence object (LO, the designation used to identify the one the limerent is madly in love with). The limerent feels strong passion and tremendous pleasure and happiness, even euphoria, associated with the LO. In the eyes of the limerent, the LO rises above normal humanity and is viewed as nearly flawless. I could spend pages describing it, but this gives the idea. (See chapter four of my book Your LovePath for more.)

From Fisher’s work we know that in this state the limerent’s brain increases dopamine (the ecstasy, happy, feel-good chemical in the brain) and decreases serotonin (the inhibitor, finish things, bring things to a conclusion chemical in the brain). To draw us toward the lover and overcome any barriers that might distract or prohibit us from pursuing, the brain goes into a phase in which logic and intelligence surrender to feelings and emotions. It’s a natural high that is as strong, if not stronger, than nearly any drug. And it gets stronger.

Emotions continue to intensify as fear develops that somehow one may lose the LO and the relationship will not last. Fear increases passion. That’s why it is so euphoric while at the same time so scary. In short, the limerent’s brain is a cauldron of unbalanced chemicals that lead to the absolute misery of blissfully intense love; happy thoughts mixed with fearful thoughts, wonderful fantasies about the future diluted by nagging doubts, euphoria sometimes dropping suddenly into depression, and giddiness competing with Godliness.

With inhibitions reduced and ecstasy increased, one in limerence describes his/her feelings in glowing, romantic terms. Governor Sanford said of his relationship with Chapur, “This was a whole lot more than a simple affair. This was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.” He believes that he will reach death “knowing that I had met my soul mate.”

Soul Mate?

If Sanford is in limerence with Chapur (a given, don’t you think?) you can see why he believes that. Look up the origin of the phrase soul mate and you’ll find that it began with the idea that Zeus (people later attributed it to Karma and eventually to God) split souls and we spend our lives looking for the person that is the other half of us. Therefore, if we are so lucky as to find and develop a relationship with the person who deeply understands and validates our emotions, thoughts, and dreams, we have found the soul who completes us – our soul mate.

Sounds so romantic and beautiful, doesn’t it? However, there are two major problems with it.

First, it’s just not true. The fairy tale, myth, fantasy, or whatever you wish to call it has been propagated through the centuries via the human experience of limerence. It’s a given in the marriage business that whomever you marry brings with him/her a set of problems. Marry this one and you get one set of problems. Marry that one and you get a different set. The absolute is that there ARE problems in every relationship and that each person on the planet is imperfect.

While it’s a fun fantasy to think that putting two imperfect people together would create perfection, it has no basis in reality. There is not one passage in the Bible that teaches that God has the perfect person for us out there somewhere. And there is no passage that tells us how to know if we actually encountered that person if such a person exists. Should we base it on how we feel? As you’ll see in a moment, that won’t work either. Why? Limerence fades away. Always.

Second, it makes God the one responsible for very bad decisions. Since Adam blamed God for making the woman that caused all the trouble (Genesis 3:12), people have been claiming that through circumstances and situations God led them to do the thing they did. As one woman leaving her husband for her “soul mate” said to me, “This is the man God meant me to have and be with all my life. He completes me. I know I was wrong to sleep with him before I divorced my husband, but there is no doubt that God sent this man to me.”

If you believe that God indeed has a specific soul mate for you and you finally beat the six billion to one odds and find that person, then who can blame you for abandoning the one you married before you finally found the person that God really meant you to have in the first place?

It’s hard to convict people of sin when they partner God in the sin.

The end of limerence.

Medical and social research shows that limerence exists to draw two people together, but it was never intended to keep two people together. As God made our bodies, including our brains, He made us very complex beings. (Psalm 134:19) Part of His design is that at least some people are strongly attracted to each other through the process that we call limerence. Not everyone experiences it. When it is experienced between two people who have a right to each other, we love to watch their love. When it is experienced between two people who don’t have a right to each other, it leads to very bad situations.

We know that limerence lasts somewhere between six months and thirty-six months. When the limerent isn’t limerent any longer, things change in his/her perception of the LO and of life itself. Flaws and problems move from the realm of the denied or obscure to that of the acknowledged and obvious. You hear former limerents saying things such as, “Was he always like that? I never saw it. I don’t think he was like that before.” Other priorities in life become important again. The person leaving limerence broadens his/her life, making more time for friends, hobbies, and the like.

This is as it should be and is yet more proof of the wisdom of God. If we didn’t move past limerence the human race would have died out eons ago because rather than planting the crops, lovers would have been sitting under trees reciting poetry to each other. As noted earlier, limerence is made to draw us strongly together, but it is not the element that bonds us for life. That is a different kind of love that is very deep, but much more rational and far less euphoric and obsessive.

That is one of the difficulties Governor Sanford faces now. The Associated Press writes, “Sanford said he is trying to fall back in love with his wife, Jenny, even as he grapples with his deep feelings for Chapur.” The ecstasy – though short-lived – of limerence will never compare in intensity with the type of love that makes for a wonderful, life-long marriage. He will need the proper help to overcome the one and find deep and true fulfillment in the other. Unfortunately, it would take a book to explain our success in helping people overcome limerence and learn to love their spouses in deeper ways than they ever imagined. Therefore, instead of providing the answer to limerence here, allow me to mention at least three ways that limerence may end.

Badly.

If two people are in limerence with each other, they usually don’t evolve past limerence at the same pace. Often one is still entrenched in limerence while the other has lost most or all limerence. That often leads post-limerent to abandon the still-limerent, either physically, emotionally, or sexually. Because of the intense emotions felt by the one still in deep limerence, logic, rules, values, and even self-preservation may disappear in a fog of desperation. The limerent typically tries to stop the post-limerent from ending the relationship and will employ increasingly intense actions to keep the LO from moving on. Tactics may include manipulation, control, guilt, seduction, blackmail, threats, slander, public scenes, suicide, and murder. Obviously not every limerent being abandoned will do every option listed here. Some do hardly any. But the truth is that some will do all of them, or in an intensely fearful moment jump straight to killing the LO and/or self.

This appears to be what happened to McNair and, as always, it is such a shame. By all accounts he was a good man who genuinely cared about people and who would roll up his sleeves and get directly involved in helping. On Nashville television a fellow church member described the kind of man that McNair was. But even the best of people, even those who love Jesus and want to do right, can get into terrible situations if they fall into limerence with someone to whom they have no right. It appears that Steve did. It also appears that Sahel did to a level that would not allow him to do anything but marry her or die. Many hearts broke and those who loved them will have a tough time healing.

Of course, trying to convince two people in limerence that one of them might become that desperate some day is fruitless. While still in limerence people usually see no flaws in the other and anticipate living happily ever after. If they have a right to each other, that impossible expectation isn’t as harmful as when they don’t have a right to each other. Either way, no relationship lives on limerence for more than three years and must have something deeper to survive a lifetime.

Sadly.

At least Governor Sanford is alive and so is his paramour. However, the embarrassment and shame he faces publicly, including the demands that he resign from office and the humiliation suffered by his wife and children are a terrible price to pay. As long as he is in limerence he will likely see his love for Maria as worth it. When limerence fades – and it definitely will, no matter what he believes about it now – he will come to a point of self-examination and guilt that will likely be far worse than whatever he faces now. At least I know that will happen if he is the good man that others believe him to be. A good man who did a bad thing.

Not because he intended to be bad or that he even contemplated how his actions violated his values. A good man that, as Paul wrote it in Ephesians 2:3, succumbed to his sinful nature (flesh) because we are by nature children of wrath.

When I read that passage now, I think of how the very things within our bodies (our flesh) that make us human can lead us to selfishly, almost blindly, go after what our emotions focus on if the focus is strong enough. I’ve seen enough Godly men and women destroy their lives by yielding to their flesh (brain chemicals and all the other things involved). Haven’t you?

Godly.

There are only two ways that I know of to overcome the natural. You do it either through natural means or supernatural means. If I have cancer and the physician’s employ surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, or whatever else they have in their arsenal to kill those destructive cells and save my life, I happily embrace their use of nature to overcome nature. Like many other Christians, I see no lack of faith in taking an aspirin when my head hurts or downing an antihistamine during ragweed season. Similarly, there are rational, natural means for combating limerence. I use them every month and see amazing success.

Bring your spouse or twist the arm of someone you love to come to my weekend workshop and our record since 1999 proves we have a three out of four success rate in overcoming marriage problems – even limerence – and saving the marriage. Our system is scientifically valid. It’s a use of the natural.

But don’t for a moment forget that the supernatural can overcome the natural in the twinkling of an eye. The most amazing miracle in the Bible is that of conversion, a person yielding to God and being changed in ways that humans cannot begin to measure accurately. Therefore, I often pray for conversion for the converted when that converted person has yielded to the flesh, particularly in the ways of limerence. Though I understand that brain chemicals drive them and make them illogical, I also know that one can choose to walk by the Spirit or by the flesh. Yielding to the Spirit not only can change our directions, it can change our emotions, and, yes, even balance out our brain chemicals so that they don’t have as much influence over us.

Just as God heals some naturally and some supernaturally from their physical diseases, He can and will heal them either naturally or supernaturally from their “brain” and emotional misdirections such as limerence. The primary difference is that they have to yield to Him rather than to their flesh.

There is hope and there is a love that can develop for each other – the limerent spouse who strayed and the wounded spouse who stayed – that is so much more fulfilling and brings much more contentment and happiness than any intense short-lived love. Let us help if you will, but whatever you do, surrender to the Spirit and walk by His guidance rather than that of your own desires, no matter how strong those desires are.

July 8, 2009

------------------------------------------------------
Joe Beam founded Love Path International (http://www.lovepathinternational.com), an organization whose mission is to save marriage relationships even in cases of affairs, anger, dishonesty, loss of passion and other marriage problems. Joe and Love Path International provide marriage help (http://www.marriagehelper.com) to couples who are in danger of separation or divorce.
 

---

 A Governor, a King, and the Tragedy of Adultery
Albert Mohler
Author, Speaker, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

The sad spectacle of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford continues to dominate the headlines as further revelations add one bizarre twist after another to the governor's tale of adultery, deceit, and the consequences of sin. With every passing day, pressure mounts for the governor to resign. As the revelations unfold, his leadership credibility is further destroyed. The people of South Carolina now look to their governor's mansion with a sense of dread and embarrassment.

Governor Sanford's admission of adultery came only after he was ambushed by the media after returning from a liaison in Argentina. In a rambling confession, the governor admitted to an ongoing relationship and an extramarital affair. While the media quickly turned to ask questions about money and the affairs of state, many others immediately thought of the governor's wife and four sons and the horrible pain and embarrassment they were now forced to bear.

In his original statement, Governor Sanford seemed to acknowledge the evil of his actions and, using biblical language, he appeared to understand the sinfulness of his adultery and betrayal. Yet, his statement was rambling and disconnected and, upon reflection, his words raised more questions than they answered. How did this affair happen? Was the relationship really over?

When Governor Sanford addressed his cabinet just a few days after his confession, he offered an apology to his colleagues and promised to "carry on" as governor. “I wanted generally to apologize to every one of you all, for letting you down,” he said. Of course, "letting you down" hardly covers the behavior that brought the governor to this admission. The governor violated his marital vows, engaged in an elaborate and sickening correspondence with his mistress, abandoned his responsibility as husband and father, and forfeited his right to lead the state which twice had elected him governor.

When speaking to the Cabinet, Governor Sanford referred to the biblical story of King David. The governor spoke of "the way in which he fell mightily -- he fell in very, very significant ways --- but then picked up the pieces and built from there." The governor also suggested that remaining in office would set a good example for his four boys, teaching them to persevere after a fall. The great shame is that the governor did not have his four boys in mind as he committed adultery.

Naturally, questions emerged related to the extent and duration of the extramarital affair. The governor's initial statement was unclear about several key issues. The days following would render the situation even more unclear.

Most recently, in a lengthy interview granted to the Associated Press, Governor Sanford added what the wire service called "explosive details" that made the picture all the more troubling. In the first place, the governor admitted to having "crossed the lines" with other women. "There were a handful of instances wherein I crossed the lines that I shouldn't have crossed as a married man, but never crossed the ultimate line," said the governor.

But the most troubling words from the governor concerned the nature of his relationship with Maria Belen Chapur, the woman with whom he had the affair. "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," he said. He added: "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."

Speaking, not of his wife, but of his mistress, Governor Sanford declared that he would go to his grave "knowing that I had met my soul mate."

Immediately following the governor's first admission, it seemed that he might survive politically and remain in office. The nation found itself once again in a debate about the relationship between personal virtue and public responsibility. This is a question that is particularly vexing to Christian conservatives, who must simultaneously understand that all are sinners in need of redemption and, at the same time, affirm that some sins disqualify individuals from public service and influence.

America's recent political history indicates that some politicians can survive revelations of adultery. While Christians should be less concerned about the political consequences and more concerned about the spiritual consequences, it is fair to observe that those politicians who survive more often than not do so when the adulterous relationship is clearly over and in the more distant past and when the politician has given himself in a demonstrable way to the priority of rebuilding his marriage and reestablishing credibility with his family.

Put simply, Governor Sanford's most recent comments point to a worst-case scenario. His words make clear that his heart is still inclined toward his mistress, and not his wife. With tragic candor, the governor has spoken of trying to fall back in love with his wife. He refers to his mistress, not his wife, as his soul mate, and speaks wistfully of the affair as "a love story at the end of the day."

Governor Sanford may cite King David, and he may even suffer the illusion that his response is similar to that of Israel's King. Nevertheless, the difference is clear. David's adultery was mixed even with murder, but his own acknowledgment of sin came in a flood of contrition, remorse, broken heartedness, and humility. David acknowledged the reality of his sin, expressed his hatred of the sin, and became a model for us all of repentance. Governor Sanford, on the other hand, demonstrates the audacity to speak wistfully of his sin, longingly of his lover, and romantically of his descent into unfaithfulness.

Governor Sanford is no King David, and the people of South Carolina -- as well as the watching world -- now observe the sad spectacle of a man who, while admitting to wrongdoing, shows no genuine repentance. As the Christian church has long recognized, true repentance is reflected in the "detestation of sin." This is a far cry from what we've heard from Governor Sanford.

If the governor is really serious about demonstrating character to his four sons, he should resign his office and give himself unreservedly to his wife and family. He must show his sons -- and all who have eyes to see -- how a man is led by the grace and mercy of God to hate his sin, rather than to love it. Until then, the governor must be understood to indulge himself in wistfulness for his affair and in a desperate determination to maintain his office. His remaining days in office are like a Greek tragedy unfolding into farce. The whole picture is just unspeakably sad. 
 

---

The Case of the Fallen Governor
Chuck Colson
BreakPoint

June 26, 2009

In the past 24 hours since Governor Mark Sanford admitted his affair, I’ve run the gamut of emotions: sadness, depression, anger, and most of all, bewilderment.

The particular tragedy of Sanford is that he had been an outstanding governor. He’s attractive, engaging, and smart. He is an articulate and tenacious defender of family values. And he espoused the cause of Christ.

Now, his career lies on the ash heap of history. He’ll have to gracefully withdraw from political life and try to put his shattered marriage back together.

I mentioned sadness and depression. Sanford’s admission is simply the latest among pro-family conservative Christian politicians. Remember Senator David Vitter, involved with a prostitution service? Then just a week ago, Senator John Ensign of Nevada—a good friend I have known for years—he, too, admitted an affair.

And now Mark Sanford, probably the last man in American public life I would have expected to so incredibly disappoint us.

Sadness, depression—then there’s anger. These men dishonored their families and their offices and the Christian faith they profess.

But most of all, I am bewildered. Sanford had it all—a beautiful wife and family, high public office, and he was a viable candidate, perhaps, for President. Why would he throw it all away?

The answer came to me as I stewed over Sanford’s demise—and as I have reflected on my own life and my own failures, particularly before I knew the Lord.

We humans, you see, have an infinite capacity for self-rationalization. We reason that we can give in to those seemingly minor temptations—say an emotional attraction to a co-worker, or just one drink at the party—because we think we know the boundaries. We think our reason can keep us safe.

The problem is, as C. S. Lewis wrote in his timeless essay, “Men Without Chests,” that our reason is no match for the passions of the flesh. Lewis put it this way: Our stomachs (that is our appetites) can’t be controlled by our minds (that is, reason). Something else has to come in to play—and that is the spirited element, or our chests, as he called it. It’s our will being trained to do what is right and just.

Nearly every grave moral failure begins with a small sin. Because there comes a time, after we toy with sin, when one pull of the flesh causes us to cross the line, to disengage from reason, and to follow our appetites wherever they may lead.

And, I’m afraid, this is especially easy today. We’re told we can have it all, that we can be free to pursue any pleasure. Our wills are not trained to do what is good, but to do what pleases us. Many of us have become, as Lewis said, men without chests.

So, fellow Christians, don’t be self-righteous. Let the Sanford tragedy be a cautionary tale. Are you toying with sin? If so, for your self, your family, and your Lord—stop. Don’t put yourself in a position of compromise.

Instead, let us—you and I—prayerfully build up our chests and train our will that we might, by God’s grace and in fellowship with other believers who hold us accountable, not betray our Lord.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

Chuck Colson’s daily BreakPoint commentary airs each weekday on more than one thousand outlets with an estimated listening audience of one million people. BreakPoint provides a Christian perspective on today’s news and trends via radio, interactive media, and print.

credits to www.crosswalk.com

學來幹什麼 其實...

連續4天, 0900-1730的First-Aid course.
累的呢 (是悶的呢....zzzz)
如果考試不合格就唔抵了!!!

不想回憶 未敢忘記

20年前 我也還是年紀輕輕
第一次認識"戒嚴"這個名詞
第一次看到那麼震撼人心的場面
第一次 認真想像 民主的重要
流過淚 遊過行

 

20年後 雖然 我沒有去維園
從電視上看到那些令人心痛的舊畫面
朋友在聊天 我的眼睛沒法離開
那些 我一度遺忘了的 痛

我想起了
"媽, 我餓了, 可是我吃不下"

還有, 當年北京的天空

未被工業污染的天空

很蔚藍

大槪...

努力了這麼久也沒什麼改變的話

大槪
 
放棄
 
才是唯一的出路

...

現在的我是...
 
有時好憤怒
有時好傷心
有時好自怨
有時好積極
 
簡直精神分裂
 
朋友的msn名這樣寫:
  
感激傷害你的人，因為他磨練了你的心態。
感激絆倒你的人，因為他強化了你的雙腿。
感激遺棄你的人，因為他教會了你該獨立。
感激欺騙你的人，因為他增進了你的智慧。
凡事學會感激，感激一切使你成長的人。

巨型水舞擱淺!!!

今天早上開了一個無聊頂透的會, 不過也因為多得這個會
有同事發現沙灘擱淺了一隻超巨型的水舞!!!

它應該是因為今早水退才不幸地擱淺了吧
我們想可能它還未死, 所以兩位壯丁就合力把它送回去裡去
它呆了一陣, 漸漸地就開始飽滿起來, 因為之前它在沙灘乾了不少水份吧 !!!
看起來真像一隻大水餃 XDDDD
 
這麼大的水舞我還是第一次見~~希望它回海裡快快樂樂的生活吧~~~
 

近來

足足有一個月沒寫網誌，我在做什麼呢
總是好忙好忙好忙．．．
　　
近來的事～　
　
　聖誕ｐａｒｔｙ真好玩，我是聖誕樹耶！不過很多人說我像青椒！！

　
　去海洋公園！！！
　
　比賽．．唉．．雖然失敗了　下次一定要更叻！！！不過抽到手機！都好開心　呵呵～～～

當魚蛋瓜在一起

以下說的話是懂的人才懂 XDD

* * * * *
話說這個世界上有個快樂的小國 - 瓜國
暫時來說瓜國只有3個子民
不過他們一直都自強不息 努力為夢想奮鬥
愛好音樂的大王和公主由於和魚蛋很有緣份
所以合力創作了以瓜和魚蛋為主題的大碟【我們都是魚蛋】
以下是瓜國公告:

瓜國皇室華麗打造2008年壓軸大碟

【我們都是魚蛋】

實力主打 - 當魚蛋瓜在一起

其他上榜歌曲包括:

你不是真正的魚蛋 / 我心中尚未崩壞的魚蛋 / 爆瓜 / 突然很想瓜 / 魚蛋 ing / 九號瓜 / 魚蛋的恆心 / 離開魚蛋表面 / 為瓜而生 / 最重要的魚蛋 / 一千個魚蛋 / 金多瓜 / 垃圾瓜 - 魚蛋版

經典重現:

魚蛋海海 / 時光瓜 / 叫我第一瓜 / 心中無別瓜 / 軋瓜

(今天和CAN 聊MSN的時候真的笑了很久~~我們的創作不錯吧!!)

如果你是五月天的人應該看得明那些歌名 ^^